Pink Toned Epiphanies

by - 14:10


We often seek what already exists within us, we search for it because we are not willing to do the work it takes to look within. 

Photography by Cheney Liebenberg Photography

Hair: Crochet Braids by NZ, using Kinky synthetic weft in Natural
Hoops: Miladys
Bra top: Jet

I recently did a shoot with Cheney Liebenberg once again, it was my second shoot as part of my model search winner's package. I chose a boudoir shoot for the purpose of building my portfolio. I have modeled here & there for some years now but I never pursued it professionally, it's always been about creating a brand around music & entertainment for me more than it has been pursuing a full time modeling career.


Hair: Crochet Braids by NZ, using Kinky synthetic weft in Natural
Hoops: Miladys
Bra & Laced Briefs: Jet
Eyelashes: Vanity Beauty Store (On Murchison)

There were many instances where I was offered help to achieve my musical ambition by people I trusted, it had conditions of course, like going to university etc. I was also not allowed to work while at Uni, I'd cause fights whenever I tried. I was, at the time, obedient. I became fiercely co-dependent, not a good place to be in your early twenties (In my opinion anyway). In the end, after placing trust in people, words came up empty & for the past few years I was living someone else's life. The lesson was; you can't be the source of others' happiness no matter who they are, you can't. Life comes down to doing what is best for you. If they fight you then they fight you, you can't martyr yourself for the smiles of others. People must be happy within themselves, it's their responsibility to be - not yours to keep them happy.

When you trust yourself enough to take the steps you know you need to take to get where you want to get then eventually even your biggest doubters will follow & even if they don't, they don't make you you. Taking the lead is essential & I take full responsibility for letting the judgement of another get in the way.

The lesson hurt to my core but I am here now, flourishing,  & that's all that matters. 



Hair: Crochet Braids by NZ, using Kinky synthetic weft in Natural
Hoops: Miladys
Bra & Laced Briefs: Jet
Eyelashes: Vanity Beauty Store (On Murchison)
According to professionals I have two things working against me, my age & my skin tone. If only the professionals knew that my cares are on 0 & that if I left it to the opinions of others to determine my self belief I wouldn't be the woman I am today. I am aware of the bias & prejudice our world turns with, I know how where you come from, the colour of your skin & your sex can strike against you but none of those things, despite their reality , ever stopped some of my role models from living the lives they wanted & they sure as the sun rises in the morning are not going to stop me. I am not moulded by subjective opinion, I have things to do on this beautiful planet & no opinion by another human being is going to stop me.


Hair: Crochet Braids by NZ, using Kinky synthetic weft in Natural
Hoops: Miladys
Bra & Laced Briefs: Jet

 I will continue to age & will love every second of coming home to myself with every year that passes by. I will sing, I will pose for photos, I'll create all the while enjoying the changes I undergo mentally, spiritually & physically too (although, I should warn you that I may end up looking exactly like this for the next thirty years... Connie Ferguson, Bonnie Mbuli, Angela Basset, Brandy Norwood & Gabrielle Union give me hope).


Hair: Crochet Braids by NZ, using Kinky synthetic weft in Natural
Hoops: Miladys


Here's the point:

You'll upset a few people by putting yourself first. When you want more than what some believe is possible you will offend just by becoming but you cannot let the fear of conflict get in the way of being who you want. 

An athlete I love dearly said: "I'm usually alone & I trust very few people", what I heard was; in doing what is best for me I have to believe I'm doing what's best for me & to do that I have to be around people who trust my judgment & my path & to be honest, the only person who can give you that in it's fullness is yourself & that can lead to being by yourself most of the time.
The good news is that it's okay; it's part of the journey.

You've got to trust yourself,



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