Those Dreaded 5 Stages of Valentines Day Grief


Ah, yes - this day used to be so cute when I was a child.
Free chocolate hearts, who could be mad at that?

Image by: Cheney Liebenberg Photography
Image edit: Nona Zuri

Bralette: JET Stores
Silver Hoops: Miladys

Now, at 27, I feel the pressure.
As much as I sometimes may feel like our society's idea of falling in love is just another word for "death of self" , I am at a stage where I want security & genuine & healthy relationships, romantic & otherwise.

To this day I have the long standing tradition of buying myself chocolate on v-day & if I am particularly financially secure that year I even throw in some wine & a bouquet of roses.
However, coming to terms with being single on a day where nearly every marketer & brand is telling you to celebrate romantic love can feel a little daunting & can go a little something like this:


I don't care about valentine's day 
It's alright you have to tell yourself something.


I have done everything right - how am I still single???
The ghosts of love's past might show up - don't trust them.
Alternatively you could just be mad at the smitten & happy people for being smitten & happy. You could go on Facebook & laugh at the ridiculous amounts of money people spend on each other when true love doesn't cost a thing (girl, please.).


Ok, I could watch a romantic comedy, pamper myself and make myself a romantic dinner 
You start to realise that being mad at others who may have had just as hard of a time as you finding someone to share life with is actually kind of sad and thus you start looking for ways to actually enjoy the 14th.


I wish I didn't have to be here alone like this. This sucks. 
And you know what? It's okay. Admitting you want a romantic relationship in your life is the first step to actually doing something about it. Enjoy your evening, wrap yourself in your arms & enjoy your good food, babes.


Life is beautiful, single or not single, but I want to be with someone because I don't want to be alone anymore - let me work on that.
If you realise that your anti-Valentines stance is just a way to deflect & stay afloat on V-Day, I hope you take the steps to do better by living the life you actually want! We can't have what we don't make room for & to have anything we must welcome it first. You may just be standing in your own way.

Just remember, sometimes, when one has been single a while the tendency to fall in love with ideas instead of who people are can rear its judgy head. Patience is always a good way to go when it  comes to giving love a try.

This valentine's day, don't be alone if it's hard on you - go out with some single friends rather or have a girls night in, partake in the consumption of your favourite things, share love with family & buy yourself something nice - why not?

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